I’ve said most of this before but feel it needs saying again.
When Sophie was in ICU in Alder Hey the final operation she had was a last ditch attempt to give her a chance at life. The procedure she had meant that for the rest of her life she would be a lot more poorly than she had been before going into hospital, that she was going to need much more medical attention for the rest of her life than we had thought, and that she would be lucky to make it to her teens. But at no point did the doctors say to us she wasn’t worth giving that chance. At no point did they say that she was costing them too much money and it would be cheaper to end her life then. At every point and every crossroads that required a decision, they did question (and made us question) whether or not the proposed treatment was in Sophie’s best interests. Sophie’s, not ours. That was ALWAYS the priority when making those the decisions. The week before Sophie died, the doctors told us that while she was still showing signs of fighting then they had their boxing gloves on. 3 days before she died, when they were quite sure there was nothing else they could do, they spent a whole afternoon taking her for an MRI which will have cost thousands in terms of machines and staff needed to take her. They did that, just in case they had missed something and there was something else they could do.
The day before Sophie died, the consultant spent nearly an hour trying to get a line into her collapsing veins just to try and give her a last chance at getting some medication and surviving. He knew full well that even if he could the chances of her making it were slim, but he did it anyway in case he was wrong and in case Sophie was still fighting. We saw how gutted he was when he couldn’t do it.
The morning Sophie died, I lose count of the amount of staff who came to see us and her, who cried with us and who were heart broken with us that between us all, we hadn’t been able to save her.
I can’t even begin to describe how the nurses treated Sophie because my heart hurts with gratitude when I think about how well they loved and looked after her like she was one of their own. They were parents in all the ways we couldn’t be while she was there. We have 3 sets of Sophie’s footprints. One was done by the cardiac ward nurses for father’s day, one was done by the ICU nurses on Christmas eve to brighten our Christmas day, and the last set was taken by the bereavement team after Sophie passed away. I’m pretty sure taking footprints and making cards out of them isn’t in their job description. At the time I had no idea how important they would be to me, but those nurses thought ahead and created those memories for us when our heads were too chocker to even think about creating them ourselves.
My heart will always break for anyone who has to go through the hell that is letting your child go. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to deal with it because it’s such a shit situation that should never happen and nobody’s written a rule book for us to follow. So I’m not saying this to judge others.
I’ve said all this about the staff at Alder Hey before, and I’m not saying that I know the ins and outs of other people’s situations or that Sophie’s is in any way the same situation. But I can’t say nothing at all when the same staff who did absolutely everything to save Sophie are being called murderers, neglectful and liars.
Who knows, maybe they’ve all had major character changes since we were in there. Or maybe they’re just doing their absolute best for the children they’re responsible for, regardless of the popularity of those decisions.
David Hutton said:
This is perfectly written. Thank you. I haven’t found a way to say how I feel about the current situation at Alder Hey but you have nailed it.
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Maureen Evans said:
Yes so well thought out and written from a very balanced view point.
I just want to comment from my own experience of working as a volunteer in Alder Hey for the past two years.
I have only ever observed and witnessed caring dedication on the various wards, I have worked on within the hospital. Their professionalism and devotion to duty in saving children’s lives is to be commended.
I am therefore deeply shocked and saddened to hear such awfully negative comments towards the staff being deemed as murderers, liars & neglectful.
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Carol Blakeborough said:
Thank you for sharing this painful time with us again.
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baldyhead said:
Hi, someone shared your blog on Facebook and I’m so glad they did. I remember Sophie well, she was such a little fighter! It was such a sad day when it eventually became too much for her to take.
Thank you for your kind words on this post and thank you for all the others in the rest of the blog. To let us in to your life, before and after, gives more meaning to what we do.
James (one of the Perfusionists)
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Patricia Kelly said:
Tears.. Pat
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Trevor Smallwood said:
My son is alive today and 18 years old, purely and simply to the knowledge, care, love, compassion and never ending dedication of the staff at Alder Hey. He was born with half a heart and given no chance of survival. They work for their love and dedication to their patients. For the vast majority it is a vocation, rather than a career path. Very few will ever be ‘well off’ through a career in the NHS. Yet there are very few jobs that save as many lives and bring light and hope to others, from the darkest moments of despair!
I’ll be forever grateful to to them all ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Edgar said:
This is the Alder Hey I love and remember from my years of working there Thank you for reminding me of what a wonderful happy place it is
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osmondj said:
I’m almost lost for words, first though …your strength, honesty, and pain all come through and, of course, enduring love and care for your little Sophie and the staff that did so much to help and save her. You’re right, we don’t own our children, we have a duty to nurture and care for them which you did, as did Alder Hey staff. I know some of those staff as a fellow NHS professional and they’re among the best I know. Thank you for sharing your heart wrenching story, and may your beautiful angel rest in peace. ❤️
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Marie said:
Thank you for sharing so sorry for your loss I’m sure your angel will be watching over you 🤗
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Salome Stribley said:
Wow Katie thanx for writting this… the staff sound truly amazing, its great to hear this when they are being vilified in the press xx
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Ali Jeffrey said:
Beautifully, achingly, heartbreakingly said. Thank you xx
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Ordinary Hopes said:
Reblogged this on Ordinary Hopes and commented:
I had to share this. More people need to read it.
Hospital staff work tirelessly to save poorly children. And their hearts must hurt so badly when there is nothing more that they can do.
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Ordinary Hopes said:
Perfectly written. Hospital staff do amazing things and they do everything possible to save poorly children.
Decisions are not taken lightly, and the staff at Alder Hey must love Alfie. You cannot care for a child for a year without having feelings for them.
I have never reblogged anything on my page before, so I hope I have done it right. This needs to be shared widely.
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Julie said:
I agree with you. The general staff at Alder Hey are amazing.My little boy died in Alder Hey 28 years ago. I still remember all his nursing staff being brilliant and 28 years ago the hospital wasnt as accesible to parents as it is now. unfotunatly there are bad things that have happend in Alder hey. I was allowed to see my son who was 18months old after his post mortom before he had been cleaned. What me and my husband saw was horrific to say the least. details I would rather not publish. To then be told years later that he was involved in the Alder Hey scandal and was one of the worst cases. they stripped my little boy of everything and kept them in an ice cream container for years. There is a list of his organs that Alder Hey have us. So while I agree the nursing staff and doctors do an amazing job there are people in the background who don’t and turn a blind eye to what might be going on. Trust me I have a huge document to prove this.
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Emma Rodriguez Dos Santos said:
I thought you should know a couple of people who really do know about loss of those close to them, have commented about your thoughtful post which is on my facebook post. Feel free to befriend me so that you can read them.
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Joan summerfield said:
My granddaughter who is now 23 has had her life saved more than once by the wonderful doctiors and amazing caring nurses and staff at Alder Hey. An absolutely wonderful place ,
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Bina - Small lady, big world! said:
Reblogged this on MidgetGemBina.
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